Otherwise Confusing

Not the best movie, which I didn’t expect to be but it got a little better the longer it went on. The 3D effects were incredibly cheesy but I wasn’t expecting anything that good.

It’s been ten years, Jensen’s character hasn’t aged, at all.

Also this is one of those shitty horror movies where I expect everyone to die. Everyone better fucking die.

Naked lady running in hooker heels. How did you not fall in that gravel?

I don’t think he’s an idiot, he knows you’re hiding under the damn bed.

I always have more confidence in the killers in these movies.

No! I don’t want her to die. She’s gonna die damnit. And the bitch under the bed didn’t do anything to save her.

There are holes. A pick ax can easily go through them.

“Tom, what are you doing here?” “Oh you know, killing people with a pick ax. No big deal.”

Of course you still love him. I can’t blame you he’s incredibly attractive and your husband is an ass with a shitty mustache.

Get that bitch a heart, bitches love hearts.

You guys are really shitty cops if you didn’t know there was going to be a real heart in there.

Poor Tom, dude can’t even get a fucking drink.

I don’t want Tom to die, I want him to kill off everyone else. I know what’s going to happen though because modern horror movies always follow a certain pattern. He’s going to be killed (either by that police officer who hates him or by his ex who is now married to said police officer).

I have to say, mines are fucking creepy.

Shit, did not see that coming (not paying enough attention).

Is this one of those Secret Windows type deals where the main guy is actually the person killing everyone.

God I’m fucking starving.

Man Jensen you have some really good looking arms. No don’t put your shirt back on, you look too damn good in that wife beater.

Doesn’t really matter seeing as you’re cheating on her and your other girl is pregnant you ass.

Hey guys, I think you have a missing corpse.

Waiting for the only black guy in the whole damn town to die.

I know that you’re looking for the guy but going into a closed mine at night by yourself is one of the stupidest things you could do unless you want to die.

Oh and what are the pills for Tom?

Thinking that that shotgun will be useless.

I love how this movie was made early enough in the 3D era that every time it’s used is incredibly obvious and kinda ruins the movie (not that it’s a great movie in the first place).

You’re gonna die. You’re gonna die.

What is it with grocery stores being fucking creepy when they’re pretty much empty.

Shut up. No one can hear you scream so it’s pointless to be doing so now.

This is like an extreme episode of Fear Factor. You gotta get the right key or the guy trying to kill you with a pick ax wins.

Why didn’t you do that before.

He told you to stay back. I don’t think you should be surprised that you didn’t like what you saw.

Axel sounds like ‘asshole’ and that’s what I thought she said to him, sadly not the case.

Aw man, don’t kill the kid.

How do you know he’s inside the house? Seriously!?

Don’t put your gun down you idiot. And stop talking. Lady you are like the worse police ever.

Oh god did he put her in the washing machine? He did.

Now things are getting good.

I probably shouldn’t find Tom as attractive as I do.

Yes lets go into the creepy abandoned cabin, seems like the right thing to do when there’s a crazy dude after you.

What is with all the chocolate hearts? I don’t understand that, I really don’t.

Why would you go to the mines? Of all the places to go you pick the fucking mines.

I fucking love that he’s crazy, like seriously fucking crazy, in this movie. I could do with Jensen playing more crazy characters.

Aw man I don’t want him to be possessed by Harry. I want him to be doing this under his own will.

I like this flickering between Tom and Harry thing every time he smashes a light bulb.

No I don’t want you to die! Wait, he’s not dead. That’s how it should have ended right there.

I shouldn’t be this happy about him not being dead, I really shouldn’t.